Don't Absorb

I don't know why I thought about this spontaneously today, but as soon as I did...I realized it is a lesson I am supposed to share. A little over 2 years ago I sponsored a guy named Gary. Gary is a person with the gift of gab, he's nice enough, and he is interested in health and fitness, and I believe him to be honest. Anyway, he had many good reasons to build the business and a very definite need.

We met a few times for me to give him some "starter" type training and I became very clear about some of the areas he needed to work on in order to give him the best opportunity to grow and succeed. Of course, training is not doing. Only working in the "Process" is productive but there are basic things a new person needs to understand as well as some simple coaching around approaches and telling your story.

Anyway, Gary had everything he needed to get started including an open line of communication to me whenever he needed it. I even went a little farther with Gary in that I loaned him a couple of books that would help him greatly. But you know what? Gary didn't read the books. And Gary didn't work at the business. Why?

I have no idea. I only know that some people do and some people don't. I have learned over my career to not take this personally. I am simply the messenger and if you work, I am then the mentor and helper...but I am never the going to do it for you. I bumped into someone a few months later and they asked me, "Aren't you the person Gary was working with?" when I said I was the person who introduced him to the idea, but Gary never worked...they said "He said all you did was give him some books." In other words, Gary was not taking responsibility for his lack of action...he was blaming me to make himself look better.

Years ago this would have bothered me...but I have learned that this is simply the way it is. You see, the reason Gary isn't getting where he would like to in life is because he doesn't take responsibility and he doesn't take action. I no longer let this kind of thing bother me because I know I have to go through a lot of Garys to find the person who will do what they need to. And so will you. When someone blames you for their lot in life, do not absorb it. It has nothing to do with you.