Congruence & authenticity

This past weekend I spent some time with one of my oldest friends. We first met about 30 years ago when I was a sophomore in college. I have seen him go through many ups and downs in his life (just as he has seen me also)...this will be true with any valuable relationship, because this is the way life works....we go through seasons constantly.

Anyway, this blog isn't about seasons...it's about authenticity and congruence. I consistently espouse the message of truth and honesty being at the core of building anything in life...be it relationships or business. My friend takes this aspect to the deeper level....the level of authenticity. He is one of the most authentic people I know. Congrunecy is one of things that reveals authenticity...because this does not show up immediately in a relationship.

In other words, someone can be very honest, but still be projecting an image based on a situation...this is very normal. Congruency as it relates to people, is when they are consistent in all aspects of their being...both situationally and physically. This means they will behave consistently regardless of where they are or who they are with (situationally), and that their body language and facial expressions will be in line with what they are saying.

This is important to understand because sometimes, even when we are being authentic, we can be sending the wrong signals with our body. The more real you are considered, the more people will trust you and do business with you. The point I am trying to get across (admittedly this feels a little jumbled...it really needs a much longer explanation) here is be authentic. This is crucial, especially as your business grows and you develop your leadership. In addition, learn about physical communication so you know what things you do naturally that are not congruent with your words (for example...when I listen intently I like to cross my arms...its comfortable for me...but it sends a signal that I am closed which is not congruent with how I really feel).